The forgotten letter

Boating on the Thames

Last week I was tidying up in what used to be Mr. Torpid’s office when I came across this letter to the Dudeist Church. I hadn’t known he was in fact Reverend Torpid. But that’s not surprising. Thomas Torpid was a secretive fellow. It all came out eventually about him and Lady Maud in the comfortabology lab. Arthur Bing-Chumply was the last person to see them as they punted upriver. That must have been three years ago. Here’s the letter.

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Slow Season’s Greetings

Japanese Winter Scene
Negishi, woodblock, public domain image

Dear Member:

Whether you’re painting yourself blue and dancing nude around a mid-winter bonfire, or chopping down trees and hanging sparkly things on them, all of us at the Institute wish you a slow and sophisticated holiday.

Keeping to the Slow Way at this time of year can be a challenge. People are in a hurry. If rushaholism is not treated correctly, it can lead to gettingthingsdoneits. In Heather Braithwaite’s book, Your Slow Self, she advises: take a moment for yourself; be quiet, breathe, and relax.

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Should golf be legal?

lady golferRompshire County Council met in Dampford Town Hall on Friday to propose lifting the ban on golf.

Chief Inspector Roger Fumble of the Rompshire Constabulary believes responsible golfing among consenting adults should be legal throughout the County of Rompshire.

Recent polls have shown that attitudes are changing and opposition to golf is declining.

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Help wanted: professional vacationer

Responsibilities:

Vacation in secluded tropical islands, castles in the mountains, and sumptuous estates.ship

Report on your vacation by postcard at three-month intervals.

Travel slowly by  yacht, sedan chair, or elephant. However, occasionally you may have to suffer flying by private airplane.

Delegate any unpalatable social events or over energetic activities to one of your immediate staff.

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Slow News Update

button of slow party

Slow Party Platform

With the upcoming elections soon to be upon us, the Slow Party has finally announced its position on the economy, education, crime, international relations, and defense. Read about it here. Vote Slow.

The Pie of Troy

The IINDM history department has just finished translating an ancient text, The Pie of Troy, documenting a conversation between the Greeks and the Trojans. Learn about this new discovery here.

In other slow news

The Society for the Promotion of International Languorousness (SPOIL) awarded Arthur Bing-Chumply a research grant of an undisclosed figure.

His research will be focused on producing the most comfortable sofa known to mankind. Research volunteers should apply in person at the Institute.


 

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