BREXIT: New technology enables UK to leave Europe


New technology enables UK to leave Europe

The Leave vote won approval to move the United Kingdom away from Europe and toward the Bahamas.

Critics have said the idea of leaving is preposterous.

But the United Kingdom’s new and secret tectonic technology (TT-FUBAR) deployed during the night.

BREXIT at sea

The UK left its usual position off the northwest corner of Europe and headed out to sea.

This morning’s weather report pleased the population for the first time ever as the UK drifted by the Portuguese Coast in a southwesterly direction.

“We’re not sure where Britain is going,” said a steering committee spokeswoman. “But as long as the weather is nice and we can get a good cup of tea, that will satisfy most people.”

This bulletin brought to you by Once-In-A-Blue-Moon Communications.

13 thoughts on “BREXIT: New technology enables UK to leave Europe”

  1. The best thing about this is that the tommies finally return to what they always were best at: spreading the word. But sailing through the watery world meant, for the last few thousand years, leaving the family behind…no longer. Go ahead, chaps – and long may you run. Sorry – sail.

  2. Right then, bloody champion slow news. I’m a Brit, born on the Irish sea, who was plastered here in the land locked middle of Ohio over 60 years ago. I’m finally going back! Notwithstanding, I’ll take several months to think about it, not really doing much, several more months, perhaps a year, to actually plan the trip, and then of course take the slowest method possible for the excursion. Wishing all of you well with plenty of avoidance. Stephen

  3. A joyous cruise has begun and might take forever & the sea is a bit choppy now but the weather forecast is for prolonged calm & plenty of sun. Plenty of tea to calm the nerves of some of the landlubbers on board so they are settling down nicely. What joy to have all the time in the world to visit everyone out there!

  4. I was thinking that now with the pound falling it would be a good time to visit London. But this is most fortuitous. Eventually you will most certainly meander to the California coast. I don’t mind waiting. Ttfn!

  5. I am all for heading to the Bahamas, but please let us stop there and not drift further south. It reminds me of a Goon’s sketch which talked of separating GB from everywhere else, and I trust that the Lord Privy Seal has remember to seal all the privvies!!

  6. I am not sure this is a good idea as we are now heading towards the Falkland Islands. Does anyone know whether Argentina would be receptive to trade deals with us; our cars for your wine sort of a barter agreement? As long as we moor up somewhere mid-Atlantic for a while, 300 years or so, we might just survive this crisis.

  7. Well, I hope Britain takes a full turn around the world and comes across us in India- look forward to saying Hi to our former colonial masters. And we’ll have some great Darjeeling tea brewing.

  8. Hilarious! Well it was the only way to stop the ten years worth of eu migrants who were Planning to jump in (while they still could) in the next few weeks!!!!!!

  9. This is the change Britain has been waiting for to help it recover from the ills of its past and return to its position of a being a global economic superpower!

  10. Delighted to wake this morning as we passed by the Azores. Meant I could just paddle over to Flores to get a continental breakfast for a change. (But I do love my double English plateful). So much easier than all that packing and flying and stuff. An IINDM triumph.

  11. Hmmm. A bit concerned (not to mention dizzy) about IINDM’s lightning-fast response!! All is forgiven, considering my own quick reply!!
    Winds of change WILL blow, sometimes at gale-force. Stand on the lee side of something calm and solid – like a big rock, tall tree, a castle. Or take a long, hot bath. And Slow Down Now!!!

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