To Whom It May Concern:
Your address was forwarded to us by Why Bother Magazine. The staff here salute you. The International Institute of Not Doing Much is the best organization in the world. You people know how to avoid unnecessary activity!
We followed the recommendations in your article to the letter. First, we replaced all our telephones with carrier pigeons. Simply removing the jangle of telephones and replacing them with the pleasant sounds of bird life has had a remarkable effect on everyone. However, we are a business. We have to think of the bottom line. Telephone service was more expensive than the birds. As a side benefit, they fertilize the lawn beyond the new employee sauna.
Next, we sold the computers off to Stab, Grab, Grit, and Nasty, a firm of lawyers nearby. Our electricity bill went way down. Big savings! The boss is impressed. We have completely embraced paper technology. Now that we all use pencils, doodling is on the increase, and the quality of the pencilwomanship is impressive─ as you can tell from this letter. By the way, when you can make the effort, please send back this letter back to us. We can erase and reuse it. Just tie it to Maggie’s leg and she’ll know where to take it.
Now it’s very calm and quiet here. You can notice the difference. No more loud chatter on the telephones! All we hear is the scratching of pencil on paper; the sound of pigeons, and the delivery of inter-office correspondence by paper airplane.
Wonderful! I’ve always wanted to work for an insurance company ever since I was a little girl. Now it’s perfect.
Spokeswoman and Company Hair Stylist
Activity Insurance: Insure against overdoing it
(Sign our no-claim waiver for a lower premium.)