Physicians perform phonectomy

This week physicians at the International Institute of Not Doing Much performed the first phonectomy. Both patient and phone are in stable condition.

Gertrude Puffery, a notable neo-narcissist, was suffering from CSD (Compulsive Selfie Disorder). In extreme cases the patient loses all contact with her surroundings. “She was forgetting to eat and sleep,” said Ms. Amanda Foghorn her colleague at the School of Self-Absorption . “I found her babbling on the floor in the pouting room repeating the word ‘me’.”

Technicians at the IINDM discovered Ms. Puffery had taken a picture of herself every second for the last four days. “The operation was a last resort,” said Emile Lenteur MD inventor of the Relax-O-Meter™. “Normally CSD patients can be helped by a short course of SCBT (Slow Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and daily hot baths,” said Dr. Lenteur.

Slow News was told Ms. Puffery is expected to make a full recovery and will be teaching her self-love class within the next few weeks.