Last week I was tidying up in what used to be Mr. Torpid’s office when I came across this letter to the Dudeist Church. I hadn’t known he was in fact Reverend Torpid. But that’s not surprising. Thomas Torpid was a secretive fellow. It all came out eventually about him and Lady Maud in the comfortabology lab. Arthur Bing-Chumply was the last person to see them as they punted upriver. That must have been three years ago. Here’s the letter.
Author: Amanda Gladly
Slow Season’s Greetings
Dear Member:
Whether you’re painting yourself blue and dancing nude around a mid-winter bonfire, or chopping down trees and hanging sparkly things on them, all of us at the Institute wish you a slow and sophisticated holiday.
Keeping to the Slow Way at this time of year can be a challenge. People are in a hurry. If rushaholism is not treated correctly, it can lead to gettingthingsdoneits. In Heather Braithwaite’s book, Your Slow Self, she advises: take a moment for yourself; be quiet, breathe, and relax.
Should golf be legal?
Rompshire County Council met in Dampford Town Hall on Friday to propose lifting the ban on golf.
Chief Inspector Roger Fumble of the Rompshire Constabulary believes responsible golfing among consenting adults should be legal throughout the County of Rompshire.
Recent polls have shown that attitudes are changing and opposition to golf is declining.
Google refuses to put Rompshire on the map
Google is still refusing to put the County of Rompshire, England on its maps. This makes it difficult for visitors to find their way here. Google’s law firm, Grit, Grim, and Nasty, say Rompshire is a fictional county. Continue reading “Google refuses to put Rompshire on the map”
Help wanted: professional vacationer
Responsibilities:
Vacation in secluded tropical islands, castles in the mountains, and sumptuous estates.
Report on your vacation by postcard at three-month intervals.
Travel slowly by yacht, sedan chair, or elephant. However, occasionally you may have to suffer flying by private airplane.
Delegate any unpalatable social events or over energetic activities to one of your immediate staff.
Discovery of RELAXONS
Dr. Emile Lenteur was recently awarded the ORDER OF SLOW (OS) by the International Institute of Not Doing Much for his groundbreaking work on the discovery of relaxons. Continue reading “Discovery of RELAXONS”
BREXIT: New technology enables UK to leave Europe
New technology enables UK to leave Europe
The Leave vote won approval to move the United Kingdom away from Europe and toward the Bahamas. Continue reading “BREXIT: New technology enables UK to leave Europe”
How I learned to slow down
The British tea break, or How I learned to slow down has been updated and revived in the archive.
Slow News Update
Slow Party Platform
With the upcoming elections soon to be upon us, the Slow Party has finally announced its position on the economy, education, crime, international relations, and defense. Read about it here. Vote Slow.
The Pie of Troy
The IINDM history department has just finished translating an ancient text, The Pie of Troy, documenting a conversation between the Greeks and the Trojans. Learn about this new discovery here.
In other slow news
The Society for the Promotion of International Languorousness (SPOIL) awarded Arthur Bing-Chumply a research grant of an undisclosed figure.
His research will be focused on producing the most comfortable sofa known to mankind. Research volunteers should apply in person at the Institute.
Slow News now has an RSS feed.
Festina Lente
The Institute apologizes for any inconvenience caused by the disappearance of our festina lente blog. Continue reading “Festina Lente”