How to slow down
[Slow mastery is demonstrated in the face of having lots to do.]
1.Put your feet up, and stare idly out of the window. Warning: Do not attempt this while driving.
2.Do one thing at a time. Remember multitasking is a moral weakness (except for women, who have superior brain function).
3.Ponder, take your time. Do not be pushed into answering questions. A response is not the same as an answer.
4. Slowly learn our Slow Manifesto.
5. Yawn often. Medical studies have shown lots of things, and possibly that yawning may be good for you.
6. Spend more time in bed. You have a better chance of cultivating your dreams (not your aspirations.)
7.Read the slow stories.
8. Spend more time in the bathtub. (See letter from Major Smythe-Blunder.)
9.Practice doing nothing. (Yes, this is the difficult one.)
10. Avoid too much seriousness. Laugh, because you’re only alive on Planet Earth for a limited time.
Dear Visitor:
If you’re new to our site, you can join us and become one of our more than 5000 slow members, but you’ll have to commit yourself to the exacting task of not doing much.
Difficult topics such as minimal effort may seem daunting to the beginner, but with time and application new members of the Institute will get the hang of it.
Recent IINDM studies have identified symptoms of Pathological Rushing Syndrome (PRS) as irritation, bloating, and general grumpiness. What causes PRS? Impulsive attempts to cram too much activity into a short space of time, in other words, multitasking. Some sufferers have seen fit to write us letters of complaint.
Our educational programs start with practical idling for busy people. For example, one of our courses addresses what can be learned by the modern business traveler from the twenty-six year business trip of the thirteenth-century sales force of Polo Incorporated. Advanced research at the Institute continues to address glaring errors of history and to reinsert the previously expunged slow bits.
Slowing down is serious business. Even the idea of slowing down is terrifying for the chronically rushed. What will happen? Will we experience insufferable boredom, or discover something about ourselves we would rather not look at? Slowing down is not for everyone. But the symptoms of speed are everywhere.
Our ancient institution was founded as a place of learning and development of the philosophy of slow (slowosophy). What to give up is the hardest part of any decision. And slowing down means doing fewer things yet enjoying those activities more.
For centuries the IINDM has been a place of refuge for the previously time-poor. The Hall is open to visitors on the third Wednesday of the month. We’ll be happy to show you the hammockery and the couch room at 2 p.m. Tea will be served in the downstairs blue library at 4 p.m. However, the bathtubs are currently for members only due to a plumbing problem. If you would like to visit in person, please send a letter to me at the following address, or show up at the gatekeeper’s lodge early.
Yours in slowness,
Thomas Torpid, OS (Order of Slow)
Secretary
International Institute of Not Doing Much
The Hall
Crumpetworthy Park
Little Upford, Rompshire
