Application for Membership

Please be aware, your identity will remain fictional— as is this Institute. You must agree to the following terms in order to be considered for membership in the elite IINDM.

The IINDM has a European pedigree that goes back to the early Middle-Ages. Only by gaining some knowledge of the Institute’s rich history will new members come to a full appreciation of the fine art of not doing much. The Institute is aware that new members need time to learn our slow ways. Those who have mastered the art are revered. They may use the ritual hammock in the west wing each afternoon, with the exception of Thursdays, when Mrs. Plessey comes in to clean the regalia.

All members are committed to attaining minimal effort (ME). ME is something that only comes with years of practice which is why the IINDM is so selective, and tolerant. As in any organization, the IINDM confers rights upon its members. But those rights come with responsibilities. Here is a partial list of rules the must be agreed upon:

Members must unswervingly commit themselves to inaction.
Members while not actively ruminating, or considering things, should rest.
New members should not ask when the next meeting is going to be. The last one was on June 2, 1929. It was agreed that the IINDM should take a break.
New members shall confine themselves to the libraries, sofas and armchairs on the first floor, the dining room, and all bathtubs on the lower level.
The subject of regalia shall not be spoken of to non-members.
If elected to an elevated position the member agrees not to be too snooty.
Members shall take every opportunity to slow down and adopt the Slow Lifestyle Manifesto at our official website http://www.SlowDownNow.org.

Members no longer living may be identified as belonging to the Institute. It is well known that Marco Polo, King Canute, Augustus (Gussie) Rodin, and Elsie Arbuthnot were members.

We impress upon you the gravity of this decision to submit yourself taking the slow path to minimal effort, and, in time, to attain not much.

New members are eligible to be considered for the prestigious, Order of Slow (OOS), given each every-so-often for artistic and cultural merit.

It is with great pleasure and enjoyment that we patiently anticipate your slow reply.