Sir: I am outraged! I am outraged at you, your ludicrous website; your lack of moral fiber; your counter-urgency Bolshie politics, and your ridiculous idea that slowing down is somehow a good thing. Let me tell you, slowing down is dangerous. Idle hands do the devils work.
Once you start to slow down, you start thinking. And I didn’t become an aristocrat by thinking. No, slow down and the next thing you start doing is to ask awkward questions. I’ve never asked a question in my life, and it hasn’t done me any harm. Asking questions is just one step away from reading books. And we all know where ‘that’ can lead.
No, keep busy I say. It’s a well-known fact that hard work never did anyone any harm. I suggest you save yourself from the depths of depravity by stopping all this slow nonsense. Speed up, don’t think and get on with some kind of activity. The Great Hall needs painting. You can start there.
Yours tenderly, Lady Penelope Fruitcake Batty Hall Splunginton-on-Slime
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